My first kiss, 로맨틱 키스?
written on Wednesday, 25 June 2014 @ 17:13 ♡
On the 14th of June I lost my kissing-virginity. And before you ask; yes I am 18 years old and have never kissed anyone before that day.
I always wanted my first kiss to be something special. I imagined it to be super romantic with someone I’m deeply in love with (I’ve only really liked someone once so..) and expected to see unicorns or fireworks and shit.. I dont even know why I thought kissing would be that ‘magical’ because in the end, it was nothing like that.
My best friend and I were at this party we weren’t even invited to.. my friend’s friend basically begged us to go and that was actually the only reason we were there. The party was one of the lamest parties I’ve ever been to, so to have at least a little bit of fun we decided to drink more alcohol than we planned and I ended up talking to this guy who told me about his tragic past and how his father died because of drugs. I think we talked for about 3 hours and I thought that he seemed like a really nice and decent person since he also liked Naruto and told me that he was studying japanese, which I found fascinating!
Yeah, stupid to assume a person’s character based on whether they like an anime or not but well, like I said, I was drunk.
(And let’s be honest; Naruto isn’t just any anime! So my judgment was actually kind of justified okay!?)
After a while I somehow started to think; Should I just kiss him? I mean it’s now or never and it’s not like I’m interested in seeing him again so it wouldn’t be embarrassing if I messed up…
When he went to the toilet my best friend came up to me and I told her about my “inner conflict”. She then said I should just try it if I wanted to, so when he came back and she left, I decided that I would just get it over with. How romantic, right? Ha, I know, I know, you shouldn’t ‘waste’ your first kiss like that but you can’t always get what you want, right?
We continued to talk a lot, well… he talked. I, for the most part, just listened and tried to think of a way to start making out with him. Should I just interrupt him and kiss him or wait untill he’s done with talking? I kind of chickened out, though, and got angry at myself, but when my friend told me that we had to leave, I was like okay whatever fuck it! I hugged him goodbye, kissed him on the cheek first and then really kissed him and left.
No fireworks, no unicorns, no romantic feelings. And we didn’t make out for real but well, I we did kiss so that counts. And even though it was nothing like I imagined, I’m still glad I did it because I realized how unnecessary my worries and how incredibly unrealistic my expectations were. A kiss isn’t something special.
Labels: first kiss, love life, regular