Lesson #1: Be Egoistic
written on Tuesday, 7 January 2014 @ 16:31 ♡
It’s only january and I already lost a friend.
Since the “New Year’s Incedent" my friend former friend doesn’t talk to me anymore. On New Year’s Eve, on my way to my other friend’s house where I was going to celebrate the end 2013, we talked via WhatsApp and she kind of freaked out about the fact that I was planing on getting drunk. She said girls aren’t supposed to do that and that I am cheap and disgusting for drinking. Her saying that annoyed me, but I didn’t have any time to really explain to her that it’s New Year's for fucks sake and that it's my decision if I want to drink alcohol or not, since by then I had already arrived at my friend’s house.
The next day, I replied to all her, let’s say, opinions but she ignored my text and yeah, … that’s it I guess? I don’t want to message her again and I don’t really get why she has to behave so childish.
This is really frustrating.
Anyway, let’s talk about my sudden evolution of the need to fully accept myself the way I am. Recently I started to ask myself deep questions like “Do I really want to do that?”, “Do I really want to be around this person?”, “Do I really need to fulfill everyone’s expectations?”, “Should I really stop eating that so I don’t get any fatter because being fat, is regarded as not pretty in our society?”.
The answer is no. No, because the only person I need to please is mygoddamnself (and maybe my also mum a little bit but most importantly myself!!). I think it’s okay to have flaws, it’s okay to occasionally have dirty thoughts in public heheh and it’s also okay to sometimes tell people who are rude to fuck off.
Yesterday there was this big pre-A-Levels-party and I really did not want to go. I didn’t want to see my former crush since I’m currently in the process of comepletely and utterly moving on and I also didn’t want to see anyone else from my year because I literally hate about 95% of them. So I simply stayed at home.
My friends although were rather displeased, I guess, since one of them for example, again, tried to make me jealous and told me how much fun they had and what a hot guy they saw. But I couldn’t care less.
I think what’s important is that you realize that the only person that matters is yourself - attention! I am not saying your family and friends aren’t important okay -. Think about what makes you happy and yes, basically just be an egoist.
(For some reason I am not able to embed a video into this text post but check this out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk It’s “Let It Go” from Frozen. I remember being at the cinema and actually CRYING because this song made me so emotional.. I love this movie!!)
Labels: life lesson, New Year's, rant, regular, thoughts