Parties
written on Friday, 8 May 2015 @ 21:40 ♡
I hate parties.
I tried really hard to have fun at parties several times but without alcohol there is literally no way I can have a good time. I'd say I'm a rather outgoing person when it comes to talking to people but only when it's a managable amout. At parties where it's crowded and full of boys and girls being loud and enjoying themselves, I feel small and out of place, sometimes I'm even scared.
Today my best friend M, her friends and I went to their graduation party (well, they are still celebrating, it's just me who left). It's a big event in our city and everyone who did their a levels is going or already went.
When we arrived everyone was already hammered and shouting. It was horrible and I wanted to leave immedately. I couldn't do that though, since my best friend would've been pissed. After 15min I decided I wouldn't be able to bare this yelling and uncomfortable feeling for more than another 30min or sth and when we went to get some alcohol I saw how someone damaging my bike by accident. Great. I went there and got 15€ and went home (well, I also sad good-bye I didn't just leave..). I was fucking done with this fucking bullshit.
To be honest, I could've gotten 20€ but I was trying really hard not to cry so 15 it was..
Great evening, huh?
The only good thing about today is that I realised something;
I am never ever going to force myself to go to a stupid party again.
Tomorrow there's a birthday party of this guy from my universtiy to which I got invited to and originally, I planned to go, even though I have to work before this untill 10pm meaning I'd arrive at about 11pm which is a little pointless tbh but then again I didn't want to disappoint this guy.
Well, I changed my mind. I'll cancel.
I tried really hard to have fun at parties several times but without alcohol there is literally no way I can have a good time. I'd say I'm a rather outgoing person when it comes to talking to people but only when it's a managable amout. At parties where it's crowded and full of boys and girls being loud and enjoying themselves, I feel small and out of place, sometimes I'm even scared.
Today my best friend M, her friends and I went to their graduation party (well, they are still celebrating, it's just me who left). It's a big event in our city and everyone who did their a levels is going or already went.
When we arrived everyone was already hammered and shouting. It was horrible and I wanted to leave immedately. I couldn't do that though, since my best friend would've been pissed. After 15min I decided I wouldn't be able to bare this yelling and uncomfortable feeling for more than another 30min or sth and when we went to get some alcohol I saw how someone damaging my bike by accident. Great. I went there and got 15€ and went home (well, I also sad good-bye I didn't just leave..). I was fucking done with this fucking bullshit.
To be honest, I could've gotten 20€ but I was trying really hard not to cry so 15 it was..
Great evening, huh?
The only good thing about today is that I realised something;
I am never ever going to force myself to go to a stupid party again.
Tomorrow there's a birthday party of this guy from my universtiy to which I got invited to and originally, I planned to go, even though I have to work before this untill 10pm meaning I'd arrive at about 11pm which is a little pointless tbh but then again I didn't want to disappoint this guy.
Well, I changed my mind. I'll cancel.
Labels: angry, life, life lesson, sad